She was the best friend I ever had. My love for her still only grows. Now that she’s really gone I feel I’ve lost almost all motivation and direction in life. I cannot stress enough that I would sincerely do anything she wanted just to be back by her side. Besides continuing at the college, taking antidepressants, and going to counseling, I really don’t know what to do now…. I wanted to become a better person for her; she deserves so much more love than she gets. I wanted to grow old with her. We both told each other that we would forever love each other completely…. I want to hear my best friend’s voice, hold her hand, and make her smile again. Last night on her birthday I confessed the vast majority of my deep feelings for her in a letter. I was fully ready, if she asked after admitting she feels the same immense love for me, to pack some clothes, email in two due assignments, leave a note for my mum, and catch a bus at midnight to ride for six hours to be with her for a few days…. She made me feel my life had worth, but I ruined everything, now I’m all alone being a sobbing mess having yet another breakdown, and I just want nothing but to feel the warmth of her kind heart again more than anything…. How can I make you know how genuine I am dedicated to truly loving you? How can we have another moment like that one rainy morning when I first realised I had deep feelings for you, or the early morning after we stayed up all night when we did first kiss and you were incredibly passionate, or when in Burnaby I almost left you but realised when seeing how hurt you were that I just want to make you feel loved so from then on as we were crying and cuddling together on the couch I was completely committed to loving you forever? I would hop on the next plane to you if you made it clear you love me. You have my heart. I will always love you.
To my followers, I couldn’t care less if you unfollow me for posts like this; you’re just numbers to me on the side of a website, you’re not the beautiful, strong, intelligent woman who means the world to me, who I’d happily struggle through life with, and who I’d die for. This is one of the very few ways I have to let out my emotions.
Remus Arthur Potter, you were named after two men who looked out for my safety and cared about my well-being out of altruism and decency rather than because I was a tool for them to use or because I was someone’s son.
say it with me now
do not fucking tell me someone with abusive parents “had it easy” just because the abuse wasn’t physical or sexual
i am haunted by all the editions of books that are prettier than the ones i already own.
food should be free. water should be free. housing should be free. power, fuel, electricity should be free. basic necessities should be free.
the idea of “people should have to work for a living” carries the implication that some people deserve to die